Frozen Tranquil Diaries: Interegnum
by Ysolde
Summary: Meredith Stannard was defeated and the Mages from the Kirkwall Circle have fled. Elsa is left on her own to find a place to live, to decide what to do, to start a journey that will end at the Temple of Sacred Ashes


**937 Dragon, Nubulis 10** **th**

The muted sounds of metal on a solid substance swirled through my mind and I opened my eyes. Visibility was poor like a thick hazy fog. My arms tried to move, but they were stuck. I pondered my mortality and decided that I was indeed alive.

My last memories are from the fight in Kirkwall the emotion is utterly gone now, but even in my Tranquility I can feel a hint of it. It is rage and anger at a woman who tried so hard to destroy that which she could not understand. That is what I could remember most and underlying it a sense of loss. Mages that I had known well were dead from Templars or from Orsino himself.

I remember that I tried to freeze Meredith solid the same as I had done to Orsino when he became a Demon, but her sword seemed to keep her warm. It was a slow battle against the heat and I focused more and more power until I almost had it. I had almost cut the heat off and frozen her solid when she cut me and my blood spilled and with it my power exploded ripping her apart and sending me flying backwards in the air.

The amount of power shooting from the cut was beyond the time when I was cut with a dagger, beyond anything from my previous life in Arendelle. Just thinking about it now I remember when I was younger and father brought me to see a glacier calving. The power of that moment was miniscule compared to what happened to me when I was cut.

The pressure of the explosion pushed me through the air my power blasting from my body in a high pressure wave. I had to stop it and just like with the pin prick I encased the hurt in ice. Encased myself I suppose and then there was nothing.

How long had I been here? I did not know at the time, but I was feeling a deep hunger and my throat was parched. At least there was water in the ice around me so I reached for my powers holding the rage at bay and slowly melting the ice around me until I could move and cup my hands to fill with water. As I sipped on the cool water I heard a sound.

I wondered for a moment if I should pull more power to help them, but decided to keep it hidden. Few people saw my battle with Meredith and fewer still would be able to identify me as the mage who fought her.

Chunk, chunk, chunk, the sound went and I was remembering when I saw the ice cutters working. A few more memories of my life in Arrendelle added to my memories along with the events that led to my sister's final demise. Still no memory of how I went from the fjords to Kirkwall, but the event is linked I am sure.

Chunk, crash, tinkle and I heard a voice, "Captain there's someone inside!"

"Alive?"

I move a hand breaking more ice and turn to the voice. I recognize the face of Knight Captain Cullen Rutherford and I speak, "Ser, I wish to express my thanks for the rescue. May I enquire as to the status of the Circle?"

He stares at me almost uncomprehending, "I know you from the Circle. I'm sorry, but I can't remember your name."

"Elsa Arendelle ser I was an assistant to the healers. Is there any news of Bethany, Fialla, Rhialla, Nymeria . . ." He holds his hand up. "Hold on Tranquil no need to list all of the mages in the circle. They left two days ago when the world went to hell."

I fell to the ground and someone helped me onto a stretcher. I have no words left for Captain Rutherford even though he's asking questions they fade away as I tried to process. Then I woke up here in a small healing Center.

I tried to get out of bed, but hands pressed me down and a lilting voice spoke softly telling me to stay in the bed that I have cuts, bruises, and broken bones. I listened to the sensible advice and lay there trying to comprehend just what happened.

When I woke in the night there were no hands to stop me so I found an empty journal and wrote this down. It is my current hope that it and my other journal can someday be merged and give a credible primary source document for future historians.

 **937 Dragon, Nubulis 11** **th**

When I wake again I feel hands checking me over, an ear at my chest to listen to my lungs and heart. A hand on my head and a feminine voice, "Her temperature seems good, her heart and lungs are as well. No signs of frost burn at all. You sure she was encased in ice?"

"Yes, a great solid block inside the remains of a dockside warehouse. " Captain Cullen Rutherford was speaking again.

"I may be capable of answering questions ser."

He looked to the healer, a female chantry sister of perhaps sixty years with black and white colored hair. The sister looked at me again, "As I was saying before she woke up she's got a nasty cut on her shoulder, some broken bones and bruises, but as long as you don't take long and we get a meal in her she should be fine."

The sister stepped away and Captain Rutherford spoke, "You are in a healing center in Kirkwall Tranquil Elsa. Sister Fennic has been keeping an eye on you since we brought you in."

I nod, "I will assure her of my gratitude when I see her again."

"Yes, well you had some questions when we pulled you out of the ice yes?"

"Do you have more information on the mages from the circle ser?"

He nods this time, "Not much really, they left on a boat captained by a Rivaini woman who associated with Hawke who also seems to be missing along with her compatriots excepting one Dwarven Merchant named Varric Tethras."

I had met Varric when the Arishok had attacked Kirkwall and I helped him and others defend the city. Since that information was not known to most people and it could assuredly put my life in danger I decided not to mention it to Captain Rutherford. He looked at me and rubbed his chin. "From what we can tell the other tranquil in the circle were killed when the mages left. Many bodies without heads were found in the Tranquil quarters."

I avoided focusing on the Tranquil knowing that doing so would evoke emotions that might cause my power to seep out. Instead I focused on my Tranquility and my mind immediately went to Enchanter Melida and her three initiates Elgar, Rin, and Esmee they were known blood mages and could have done this for additional power. I looked at Captain Cullen and spoke very carefully, "There are some blood rites that can grant power from death though most mages in the circle would not know these rites."

He frowned, "You know them though?"

"I am unsure if you are asking if I know the rites or if I know which mages would be most likely to know them."

He shook his head then said, "Both actually."

I continued to answer him carefully, "I know of the rites, but do not know them in fullness. I have no direct confirmed knowledge of any Blood Mages."

The first answer was true, the second was an outright falsehood. There was no logical reason to out the blood mages and no reason to truly believe the ones I had known were also responsible for the Tranquil's deaths. Cullen nodded and then said, "It remains though what to do with you Tranquil Elsa?"

I thought about that a moment and made the most logical decision. "I believe I could be of service at another Circle. "

"I wouldn't want to put you in danger and most of the Circle's are going to be very upset about what has happened here."

"I could serve the Chantry in a healing capacity."

"I'm sure Sister Fennic could use the help here do you want me to discuss it with her?"

I shake my head, "I'm sure you are quite busy ser. I will speak with her later."

He nods, "Very well."

With that he stood and hurried out. Then, Sister Fennic returned to my side with some porridge. I ate and we talked. "I heard you speaking with Captain Cullen about helping out the Chantry in a healing capacity. We could really use you here Elsa."

"I would like to help. May I ask where here is?"

She laughs, it isn't because what I said was funny I believe she was nervous. "Right, because the Chantry was destroyed by the man who used to work in this place. I worked by his side for years watching him use magic for good not telling anyone because surely he must be good and then he, he…."

She breaks down sobbing and I find myself in the odd position of attempting to comfort the woman who was trying to help me heal. I put a hand on her shoulder and pat this often helps. She turns and hugs me making me wince as my bruised ribs are squeezed. "He was such a good man I can't believe he really did it. Why? Why would he have wanted to kill Holy Elthina?"

I speak softly, "I cannot be entirely sure of his reasoning. There were many problems between Mages and Templars, but destroying the only person who could have kept peace is illogical, however I have found that many people do illogical things when their emotions guide them."

Sister Fennic ends the hug and stands. "You were there in the Circle. Was it truly as bad as that?"

I look at her and begin to describe. After some time and descriptions of a few incidents she stops me. "Holy Elthina allowed this? I don't understand why didn't she put a stop to it?"

"I don't know." She looks at me and touches my Symbol of Tranquility, "Were you one of the mages who was forced into Tranquility?"

I shake my head, "No, I was not."

Sister Fennic stands, "Well I need to check on my other patients."

 **937 Dragon, Nubulis 12** **th**

When I woke this morning I stood and determined that I was healthy enough to begin assisting. I went to the beds we had occupied and checked Sister Fennic's notes, found the garderobe, changed a bed pan, and then found my way to a kitchen area. There I began making breakfast for the patients.

The door to the healing center was unlocked and Sister Fennic came in as I was feeding people. "I don't recall saying you were well enough to assist yet."

"I want to help." She nodded and said, "First we need to discuss a few things about where you will stay and the like. Let's head into the office."

The office was quite small barely large enough for stacks of papers, filing cabinets, and a small desk with a chair. There wasn't really even enough room for a second chair so I stood. "I can't pay you much at all at most four copper a week, I am living with a family here on their charity alone so I can't house you, I can feed you because I have arranged food donations from the temporary Chantry."

"What is the temporary Chantry?"

"The old Hawke estate in hightown has been repurposed and the other Sisters are having services there until we rebuild. However donations are very low right now so we won't be able to do that unless the Kirkwall government provides funds. However, we can at least continue to support this healing center."

I take all of the information in and then say, "How much will four copper a week buy?"

"Not enough for a room anywhere respectable. I know the Knight Captain asked you to stay, but I am not sure where. Also we can't afford to send you on a journey to another circle either. Even so I would love your assistance because we are currently the only charitable healing center that is open."

I nod then speak my mind, "I will have to investigate the city today and see what I can find. It is possible that something can be arranged."

"Okay, please be careful there are still some rebel mages about."

I nod and leave the office and then the healing center. I am midway between Hightown and the rest of the city, so I make my way down. Once in the city proper I go about looking for somewhere I might be able to stay for four copper a week.

I find myself at the remains of the Kirkwall circle. I investigate them finding the healing center destroyed along with most of the rest, however I am able to find a passage into the cellars where I find a small room. This will have to do for now.

 **937 Dragon, Nubulis 17** **th**

I have been working in the Kirkwall healing center for a few days now. There is a great deal of dissent and numerous issues within the city itself. There is little in the way of a working government leaving Captain Cullen and his Templars along with Captain Aveline Vallen of the City Guard to handle most of the details. In the meantime Bran Cavin has been assigned as the Provisional Viscount.

City residents clearly do not like the Templar presence many blaming them for destruction as they battle the remaining Rebel Mages in town. I have already had to heal a number of people from injuries sustained in encounters with both sides.

 **937 Dragon, Nubulis 18** **th**

Captain Aveline Vallen was injured on a patrol last evening and brought to the healing center. I applied herbs and healing draughts. She noticed the symbol on my head and we spoke for a time.

"You are Tranquil?"

"Indeed Milady."

"You work here for the Chantry as a healer?"

"Only for a few days. I was previously in the Kirkwall Circle."

She laughs, "I see well that explains why the healing draught seems more powerful."

I nod slowly, "Yes, I informed Sister Fennic of a better recipe and we have been using that along with some enchantments in the bandages."

"Oh you can enchant things?"

Again I find myself nodding, "I learned how to enchant bandages at the circle. It does require some Lyrium though."

She chuckles, "I hope bandaging me didn't deplete your supply."

"No milady and it does not require much at all."

She sits up and puts her hand out, "May I?" I move and allow her to touch my forehead to feel the symbol of Tranquility. As her hands feel my head she asks, "Does it hurt?"

"No milady, though I don't fully recall the time when it happened." The conversation was similar to mine with Sister Fennic. I already knew the next question.

"Why were you made Tranquil?"

"It was at my own request milady. I believed I was a danger to others."

I almost answered the question that usually followed, but decided to see if she was different. In this case she was somewhat, "Do you still feel that way?"

I attempt to explain although it is really a poor explanation, "I do not really feel at all milady. However I believe it is probably better that I am like this." Poor and perhaps not a true explanation either, as I can feel and I know that when the emotions go away with my power there is always a sense of loss. It does not matter as she ends up falling asleep.

Her husband comes by later and I explain that she will be well with some rest. He waits by her bedside anyhow.

 **937 Dragon, Nubulis 19** **th**

Captain Vallen and her husband departed the healing center this morning thanking me for my services. Once they were gone I informed Sister Fennic that we required more bandages and healing herbs. Unfortunately we will not be getting a supply, so I decided to venture outside the city walls to collect herbs.

People watch me as I pass whispering words I can barely hear. One approaches and attempts to order me, but I ignore them explaining that my orders from Sister Fennic take priority. It is a lie, but they seem satisfied in any case.

The area around the city is mostly farms, but there is wilderness as well. That is where I go to find what I need. Elfroot is plentiful in the forests and when I return to the healing center I am happy with my collection.

I work the rest of the day and when I return to the docks I take time to explore more of what is left of the circle. Stones lie over places I know will go into further depths and I focus on my power growing ice columns under the stones to flip and move them.

I use a torch to light my way and explore remnants of tunnels. Inside I find minor demons, but they are easily destroyed by freezing them or hurling sharpened spikes of ice into them. I find what remains of the laundry fellow Tranquil lie dead here their heads missing from their bodies. The stagnant water reeks of spilled blood and the scent of death. Still there are clothes here to be had and thus bandages as long as they are cleaned. First though I find the furnace for heating the waters. I get it started and bring the bodies of the other Tranquil into it.

Under my tranquility I can nearly feel a heat of my own. I push it away and continue my task. It takes long hours and I end up working in the dark, but the bodies are cremated. I return to where I am staying here and use a wall of ice to seal myself in though for there could be more demons lurking about.

 **937 Dragon, Nubulis 30** **th**

After work today I return to the laundry area and wash the clothes. When I am done I bring them to where I am staying so that they can go to the healing center in the morning.

 **937 Dragon, Eluviesta 5** **th**

Captain Cullen's Templars continue to capture scattered mages about the city. They usually kill them, but a few survive and are sent to the healing center. Templar and Mages are equal in here dying or injured they are the same until they wake.

Once they wake though the differences are readily apparent. The mages just want to escape, but they are usually bound to their beds. Like wounded animals they worry at their bonds and I need to put them to sleep with herbs lest they injure themselves more. The Templars are not bound to their beds and when they wake immediately try to get up and leave all too often they barely make it to the door.

We get city guards and other citizens of the city in here as well. Unlike the mages and Templars they usually stay in bed as ordered though the guards look like they would prefer to immediately leave they wait until their higher in command arrives. Then the guards will argue that they are well, but the commander will wait for my prognosis or that of another healer.

As a caveat I should mention that these are generalizations taken over a very short period of time and that in at least 2% of cases something different from expected will occur.

I should also mention that I have considered attempting to help the mages escape after they are healed, but there are usually a large number of Templar guards when one is here. I believe that in order to effect an escape I would have to use my powers and potentially kill these guards. As it stands that is unacceptable one mage life is not worth the deaths of many Templar guards and potentially other patients in my care.

With that said it is still clearly unfair to bind these Mages and send them to another circle where their treatment will potentially be the same as Mages suffered in Kirkwall.

Finding a solution to these conundrums is currently evading me.

 **937 Dragon, Eluviesta 12** **th**

Kirkwall is slowly, but surely recovering. The Mage rebel presence in the city is fading and along with that it seems that life in the city is becoming more peaceful. I decided to start taking excursions into the Elven Alienage since it seems as if we have not gotten many elven patients in the healing center. It would not be fair if we did not treat everyone so if there is a reason they cannot come to us I will go to them.

I set up a small area not too far from their sacred tree and wait. While I am waiting I contemplate the tree itself and my own role in saving it and this area of the town when the Qunari attacked. As I stand there an elf approaches me. Her hair is dark black and her eyes are bright green. The vallaslin of her people covers her face and I nod to her. She speaks softly her Dalish accent clear in her voice, "Oh hello there. I wanted to thank you."

I look at her, "Thank me for what milady?"

I am translating her words here, but please trust that her accent is Dalish. "Oh that's right I'm Merrill a friend of Hawke. We met very briefly when the Qunari came and then I saw you again at the last of it."

I didn't see a staff on her back, but if I imagine one in her hands and Dalish leather armor on her then yes I can recall she was at both battles. I state the obvious then, "I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything really. Varric's here and Hawke and her lady love are gone off to sea. I just well I wanted to thank you and maybe I don't know have a friend."

"I'm Tranquil do you know what that is?"

"Yes, but you're not the same as the others nor like Feynriel after what happened to him in the fade." Her eyes look sad when she says the last and I have to ask, "Feynriel?"

"He was a dreamer a very powerful mage, but too susceptible to demons from the fade. We had to cut his access to the fade." She says it quickly and then I add, "Much like the right of Tranquility if I have my information correct."

I nod and then she continues speaking, "You have emotions though." She says almost defensively and I look around. No one is listening to us, but I shake my head, "Not at the moment."

Her voice goes quiet, "I've seen your power though seen you smile with joy or tremble with rage."

I nod slowly, "You have seen that, but it is hard to explain and I prefer it be a secret."

She nods and says, "We can meet up here another time?"

"For what purpose?"

She laughs lightly, "That's what friends do."

I don't understand, but perhaps having her as a friend will be an asset to aiding elves here. "I will accept your friendship then."

"Wonderful!" She hugs me and then is off. I stay at the tree for a time, but it seems as if no one is interested. Perhaps next time they will.

 **937 Dragon, Eluviesta 14** **th**

Today I met with Varric Tethras when I was walking to the Alienage. He walked alongside me for a short time. "Hey Snowflake how about we speak somewhere more private?"

"As you wish Mister Tethras."

He laughed and said, "Varric to my friends, now come along."

I followed him into an inn and then to his room. It was well kept with everything seeming to have it's own spot. "So how are you doing Snowflake?"

"I am healthy and working at the healing center. I also trying to provide free aid in the Alienage."

He shakes his head, "I hope you asked Daisy about that. The Alienage is her patch and well elves don't really like humans so much. Well maybe if they knew you were the dark haired apostate who helped them, but that would be an entirely different issue wouldn't it?"

"Yes?" I think that was the right answer and he may have said much more than that, but I have captured the general gist I think.

"What I really wanted to ask you here for was to make sure everything's going to be okay with you. I owe it to Hawke and Sunshine. I know you're working in the old Clinic Anders had with Sister Fennic. I'm not sure where you sleep though and some places around here aren't safe."

"I sleep in what is left of the Circle." He stares at me then replies, "I can make some arrangements maybe."

I shake my head, "No need I am dry and no one bothers me. I ensure that there is a stone over my entrance area that most could not lift." I seem to have forgotten to mention that I moved to the laundry area now that it is free of demons and corpses. The water heater is magical and thus I can bathe at any time. Plus the plumbing is preferable to a garderobe or chamber pot.

I mention these things to Varric and he says, "How do you move the stone, no wait the others told me that you were the one who killed Meredith. Didn't say how a Tranquil can do magic and I really don't want to know."

"Varric if you could keep that…" He breaks in as I'm talking, "don't worry your secret's safe with me Snowflake and no one is looking for a Tranquil. No one would believe it anyway story is that Hawke killed Meredith."

"I had assumed so since no one has arrested me, but I believe I should give thanks to you in any case. I would not appreciate being sent to the gallows." He stared at me for a few moments, "So strange your voice is so calm and monotone nothing like they said it was when it happened. You're not possessed like Anders are you?"

I shake my head, "No I have no access to the fade. My powers are different from most magics I have seen here in your world. They can bypass my Tranquility when I use them though and that is when you will see emotions."

"Well I'm just happy you aren't going to go crazy and blow up a building." He sounds I think upset and almost amused I think.

"No I will not."

"Right, so do you want me to try and send a message to Sunshine?"

I nod slowly, "If you mean Bethany then it would be appropriate to inform her of my survival and any other mages I worked with. Also, if I could request it I would like my journal."

"I'll see what I can do Snowflake."

With that we part ways and I go on to other activities for the day.

 **937 Dragon, Eluviesta 17** **th**

Merrill seems rather lonely. She usually comes when I am in the Alienage and speaks with me about which people have what issues. I ask her if my services in the Alienage are necessary with her here, but she says they are. I am not sure how much that is true and how much she is just seeking companionship.

 **937 Dragon, Eluviesta 20** **th**

Merrill took me to her home today and provided me with some fresh produce to eat. We sat for some time and discussed magic. I also inquired into her staying in town while the Templar were still looking for mages. "Oh no worries about that I don't carry a staff on me.

"Can't they detect your magic?"

She shakes her head, "As long as I don't do any magic or if I must do magic use blood magic they can't detect seem to detect blood magic."

I blink then say, "You don't seem like other blood mages I have met."

"Why, because I'm not trying to rip your power from your body?"

"Actually that was the first thing to come to my mind. I apologize if it is offensive to you."

She shakes her head, "No, many people do get like that. I saw enough of them when I was working with Hawke. There's more to it than just destroying things there's power to heal too." She glances at a very large mirror in her room. "Sometimes, though it seems like there are things that no magic can fix."

I agree with her and add, "Yes, like the Mages and Templars."

She nods slowly, "That was a bad bit at the end and then everyone left or died."

"I'm not sure what you mean."

"There were a group of us Hawke, Isabella, Varric, Anders, Avelline, Sebastion, and even that crazy Fenris. Oh and Bethany before she was sent to the circle. We'd meet and do things, mostly to help the city. After I was sent away from my clan to live in the city that group was all I had." She sighs as she finishes.

"I know some of the names. Bethany was a good friend of mine in the Circle Healing Center. Penelope Hawk was Bethany's sister and the Champion of Kirkwall. Avelline Vallen is the Captain of the guard. Anders is the apostate who destroyed the Chantry and Varric Tethras is a dwarven merchant. The others I have less knowledge of."

She smiles a bit and says, "I can tell you about them if you like."

I think this will help her to feel better about things and so I allow her to talk about them with me. After a few hours it is late and I need to return to the healing center.

"I am sorry, but I have no solutions for this problem. Magic does not seem like it can fix it and I do not understand people well enough to even begin affecting change." She hugs me and says, "Yes, so much is happening that seems so beyond us."

 **937 Dragon, Molioris 6** **th**

I received a letter from Bethany today:

 _My Dearest Elsa,_

 _I am so vastly pleased that you are well and safe. I had highest hopes that you had survived. I would send your journal, but considering the information inside it may not be safe to send it to you especially if it gets into the wrong hands._

 _In case you are wondering I am safe and well, but should not say where, again in case this message is misdirected. After the events in Kirkwall our mages Circle escaped with Hawke and Isabella on the latter's ship. We would have taken the Tranquil with us, but someone had killed them all!_

 _It was a terrible time and a number of mages are showing many signs of mental stress due to all of these events. Most have gone into hiding like myself though a few have passed information on to other circles. Revolts and uprisings have already begun in many other circles and the Templars are reacting with similar measures as Meredith had._

 _I miss you greatly and love you so very much even though I know you cannot easily return the affection. I will seek out some way to reunite with you in the future._

 _Love Always,_

 _Bethany_

I know that some portion of me cares for her, that when I am using my powers I feel powerful emotions about her, but I do not know what to do with them or if it matters. For the moment it seems useless to evoke these emotions as we remain parted. I will, of course, reconsider this decision if we are reunited.

 **937 Dragon, Molioris 23** **rd**

News continues to arrive about Circles of Magi that are revolting or in the middle of revolt. Templars have been shutting these revolts down by cracking down. I know this is the worst possible solution and yet I can do nothing about it.

The Templar presence in Kirkwall itself continues to patrol for mages and more and more rarely finds one. They have started to rebuild the Circle and I will have to find a new place to live soon.

 **937 Dragon, Molioris 25** **th**

Yesterday Merrill suggested that I can move into the house she has in the Alienage. I spent most of today moving the few belongings I own there. When I was done there was a knock at Merrill's door. It was a young elf who had broken a wrist.

Merrill set the boy's hand and then sent the family off with one of my healing draughts.

 **937 Dragon, Ferventis 2** **nd**

A new Reverend Mother has arrived and along with her have come some additional Chantry Sisters. The Reverend Mother is called Jenneth and she is perhaps in her early seventies and has lost her hair to time. The additional sisters who have arrived are Sister Jenneth who is in her forties, Sister Annilise who is in her late fifties, and a young acolyte named Clarissa who is in her late teens.

Acolyte Clarissa and Sister Annilise have begun helping Sister Fennic and I at the healing center. As seems to be usual I am asked about being Tranquil and provide the same information. I have few emotions, I would like to help, and I prefer not to talk about the incident that made me become Tranquil. This continues to be a standard response for anyone who asks now.

 **937 Dragon, Ferventis 12** **th**

It is nice that now when I walk into the Alienage the people there seem happy to see me. No longer do they call me Shem and many greet me by name. Some days I like to just sit by the beautiful tree and think.

I was doing this today pondering the situation in Thedas as it stands. The mages are near to full rebellion and the Templars are just fanning the flames. How could I stop it, how could I even begin to help in some way?

I could not think of anything at the time and still cannot, however Merrill came by and brought me to her house. There we spoke of magic some more. She left our conversation to heed a call of nature and I found myself staring at her mirror.

Living here I have seen it many times, but today it really captured my attention. I stood and walked to it, when I came close I recognized that there where magical enchantments in its frame and when looking closely old cracks in the glass that had somehow been repaired. I touched the mirror with my hand and I could feel my power resonating with this mirror.

A voice said, "Careful Elsa that was repaired with blood magic. I don't know how your power and it will interact." I nodded and stepped back then looked at Merrill. "A device of Elvhenn make?"

"Yes, I thought it could help my people, but even repaired it is silent. The Keeper of my clan thought it was only a prison for a demon, but I still feel it connects to more."

I hear words in the back of my mind, "It isn't just a mirror it connects to more…" words spoken long ago to me. "You killed your sister, you destroyed your kingdom. You are a danger to the world, this connects to more to a place where you can finally be free of your curse."

I look to Merrill and tell her of these words adding, "I don't remember the speaker, but whomever they were they were lying to me. Though my power or "curse" is contained I am not free of it. Though my emotions are hidden under Tranquility they are not gone."

She stares at me, "You were sent from your world? I didn't know that and did you really destroy your kingdom and kill your sister?"

Even as she is speaking more of my memory seems to spark and I find myself saying, "My sister yes, the kingdom perhaps I can't say for sure. If so then maybe it was a last ditch effort a foolish plan when all I really needed was more control over my emotions. More embracing of joy and happiness and less of fear and anger, but I guess my parents didn't really understand the Trolls."

"Trolls? Like the large darkspawn?" I chuckled a bit and said, "No small creatures made from rock. We don't have them here I don't think."

She shook her head and we sat back at the table, "No Elsa I don't think we do. But tell me more about this."

"I wish I could, but I still don't remember it all. I will you as much as I can though if you wish."

She nodded and I spent some hours going over everything I could remember.

 **937 Dragon, Ferventis 14** **th**

Over the last two days my memories of Arendelle have slowly, but surely returned. The only missing part is the very end what happened after my sister died.

So many questions remain. How did I get to this world? Was it really through a mirror? Who sent me here? I know I asked for Tranquility, but how did I know to ask for that?

The answers to all of my questions remain just as out of reach as a solution to Mages and Templars.

 **937 Dragon, Ferventis 21** **st**

I do not even begin to understand how Kirkwall politics even works. I know there are nobles and a council and then there is the Chantry and the Templars. The Templars are allowed to take any mage they wish and can often get involved in city crime as well. The Chantry has religious power, but not any specific temporal power. The Nobles and their city council seem to have the most power, but listen to wealthy and powerful merchants some of whom are on the council. Hopefully at some point I will find a book that can describe the system for me, but I have a suspicion that such a book does not exist.

 **937 Dragon, Solis 1** **st**

Merrill left a few days ago saying she needed to collect herbs and a few other tasks. I had not thought much about the departure until this morning when a Dalish elf came into the Healing Center and took my hand, "Milady are you Elsa?"

The elven man was perhaps twenty three and clearly quite agitated, "I am how can I help you?"

"Merrill needs your help milady. There's a baby coming and she says another healer's care is required. Please come quickly."

I followed or more accurately was pulled out of the healing center. From there we ran out of the city and the boy leapt onto a hart, the wild animal tossed its antlers, but waited as the boy gently pulled on a horn. "Come on Milady! We must go now!"

I had never ridden such a beast in my entire life. Even a horse would be a great deal for me, but this was clearly an emergency and it would do no one any good if I arrived late, so I climbed on behind him. The ride on the creature was very fast and it seemed to me that like the young elf I was with had no care at all for our lives, though as a complete amateur this description may simply be a bias.

We arrived in the Dalish camp and the young man brought me to a tent where Merrill was with a young woman feeding her healing energy and attempting to slow the birth process. She looked up as I entered with the boy and spoke quickly, "Mhvehnan get some hot water rags. Elsa I need you to help right the baby's position."

I first cleaned my hands in hot water and herbs Merrill had put in the tent, then went to work. I had not performed this procedure before, but I had read books about it. The reality was, of course, much more difficult than the books might describe especially as the screaming mother could not keep herself from moving. Even so I was able to get my hand inside and gently shift the child so that it was the correct way around. Once that was done it came out easily enough. I cut the cord, tied it and then gave the baby to her mother.

The mother took the screaming child in her hands and held it to her breast. Merrill smiled at the scene and put a hand on my shoulder, "Thank you Elsa we have few of our clan left."

"I thought your clan had sent you away?" She nodded and said, "They did, but this is their healer. She sent for my aid a few days ago.

That made sense of where she had been, "You need not have been so secretive about this Merrill I would not begrudge you going to your clan and leaving me behind. I know many Dalish and even City Elves do not like humans.

She looked at me and said, "Thank you and I will next time. If there is a next time you know they barely accept my help. Sarel, Marethari's second is acting as clan Keeper even though he has no magical ability. This couple's first child Eranon may, with time become Keeper since he has magic."

"How old is he?"

"Just eight" I looked at her and said, "I thought keepers were supposed to be older?"

She nods, "Marethari was older, but taken by a demon. I was her first, but as I said barely tolerated except in the direst of circumstances for my ability to heal."

I look at the young mother thinking I will speak with her perhaps, but she is sleeping and so is the babe on her breast. "What of the rest of your clan?"

Merrill sighs, "Some died fighting after Marethari was taken by the demon and some left. There are barely twelve of them left now and I wonder if it would be just better to send them to another clan I think after this Sarel may just decide to do that."

"It seems logical to go to a larger clan, more healers and hunters better for them all perhaps?"

She nods, "But, I can't go with them I'll be left alone in the city."

I take her hand and say, "You won't be alone Merrill you have friends there."

"You and Varric" she nods, "Yes, and we can spend more time together and I can help the city elves."

We leave the tent and wash up. It is pitch dark out and Merrill offers to share her tent. Before going to sleep I take the time to write all of this.

 **937 Dragon, Solis 2** **nd**

An older elf approached me this morning, "Hello miss I am Sarel, Marethari's second."

"Elsa," I say and curstey to him respectfully. He nods and looks to Merrill, "We will be moving on, word arrived a few days ago from Clan Virhnen. They will take us in please let Merrill know."

I look over at Merrill who is standing a few yards away, "You can't tell her yourself?"

He shakes his head, "Too much bad history, too many errors in judgement. We will try and stay in touch with her, but it is best that we part ways."

Then he takes my hand in both of his own, "Hawke was a bad influence on her the so called 'Hero' of Kirkwall was no Hero. She killed our Keeper Marethari and helped Merrill rebuild that which should not have been built. I hope that you will be a better influence."

"I will do what I can Second Sarel."

He nods and then leaves to go assist as Clan Sabrae begins packing up their things and started the process of moving on. I walked over to Merrill as she was wiping a tear from her eye. We walked back to Kirkwall together in silence. What had seemed to be a very short ride yesterday ended up being a two hour or more walk for us.

We parted ways in the city and I checked back in at the healing center explaining to the Reverend Mother that there had been an emergency baby delivery last night.

 **937 Dragon, Solis 3** **rd**

Captain Rutherford came in to the healing center today. "Ah Elsa can I have a word with you?"

"Of course ser."

He gestured and walked outside I followed him to the Templar barracks that had been set up where the Qunari had originally been staying. There we went to his office where he sat in a desk as I stood looking at him. "You were gone a day ago is that correct?"

I affirm and he continues, "Did you have any contact with mages from your former circle or Apostates?"

"No, I was helping the Dalish they needed another healer for a birthing."

He nodded then said, "If you do have any contact with former members of the circle you will tell me?"

"Immdeiately ser." It was a full out lie as it would not be beneficial to anyone for me to report such things to this man, even though I have heard he was against Meredith Stannard that does not make him a friend to mages.

He nods, then stands and departs the office. I follow him out and go back to my duties, which today are making more healing draughts.

 **937 Dragon, Solis 6** **th**

Varric found me walking to the Alienage today, "Seeing Daisy again are you? Anything I should know about Snowflake?"

"We are friends and we share knowledge. I have been staying with her since they decided to rebuild the Kirkwall circle."

He smirks, "Right and you don't enjoy her company?"

I shrug "I do not enjoy many things they just are. I have agreed to be Merrill's friend and with that comes an expectation of social bonding."

"You agreed to be my friend and I haven't seen you at the Inn." He smirked again, but I corrected him, "You stated that we were friends, but I did not agree to the social bond. We are aquaintances at most."

He put a hand to his heart, "You wound me Snowflake."

"If you insist I will agree to a friendship." He laughs and says, "There we go I knew you couldn't resist my charms, but all kidding aside I do need to speak with you"

I stop walking and look at him. He takes a moment before he stops and turns when he does I speak, "What is it?"

He sighs and rubs his hair, then puts a hand on the arrow flinging contraption on his back. "Look Snowflake I hear rumors okay and one of those rumors says there's a Carta Contract out on you. I'll look into it, but in the meantime could you maybe not walk around the city by yourself?"

I nod, "Very well I will ask Merrill to meet me at the healing center at the end of my work shifts."

"Wonderful!" He says then walks forward again. I end up following him to Merrill's house. The elven woman answers the door rolling her eyes as she sees Varric, "What do I suppose you want?"

"Just delivering Snowflake to you Daisy. You two be good okay and make sure you walk her home at night okay?" Merrill stares at him then nods slowly as some unseen communication happens between the two.

Varric departs after that and I sit with Merrill for a few hours talking and playing an Elvhenn game she knows.

 **937 Dragon, Solis 11** **th**

After my time in the Circle there is one thing that I can spot very easily and that is people coming in who are not actually ill. We have had three different ones over the last few days and a different person who began to follow Merrill and I last evening until the Dalish elf lost them in the streets.

Today I have thought more about that conversation and the possible ramifications of the looks I have seen Merrill give to me. It is very possible that she cares for me the same way that Bethany did. I only hope I can explain to her better that I do not share such romantic feelings. Even if somewhere beneath my Tranquility I know it is false and that I do harbor some affection for both women.

 **937 Dragon, Solis 14** **th**

Another letter from Bethany arrived today:

 _My Dearest Elsa,_

 _I did not receive a return missive, but knowing you, you may not have felt a reason to send one. After all what use to speak of feelings you don't have, but I have seen your journal Elsa I know you have those feelings inside and I have them for you as well. Surely we can find a way to be together?_

 _My Sister and Isabella have a relationship that is loving even as they share other partners. Surely we can arrange something even if you don't share the same emotions all of the time?_

 _Please, if you can send me a letter to know you are well and let me know how you feel._

 _With sincere love,_

 _Bethany_

I read the letter again and then another few times. How do I even begin a response to this? Well I shall have to do my best:

 _Dear Bethany,_

 _I am well and working at a Chantry Healing Center in Kirkwall. They have started to rebuild the Circle here. Considering all of what happened there I would prefer that it remain uninhabited by mages._

 _I have become friends with Penelope Hawke's friends Merrill and Varric. I have been living with the former for a period of time and fear she has similar thoughts as you do. I will have to, in the future, do exactly what I am doing now although in person instead of writing._

 _Do I wish we could be together, yes. Do I wish to have a romantic relationship, not really. As you know I am Tranquil and I do not feel emotions including romatic love and sexual pleasure._

 _I know you believe there is more to me, more that I can be, but that person can't exist right now._

 _Even so I would welcome a time when we can live close and be friends. I apologize that I cannot offer you more than that._

 _In friendship,_

 _Elsa_

 **937 Dragon, Matrinalis 13** **th**

Two days ago I was in the healing center checking on a young patient. As I was doing that four dwarves came in. I turned to look at them thinking that perhaps a cave in had hurt one of them, but none seemed to be injured.

My first thought as I turned to greet them was that I could have sworn there were four of them. Then the two in front moved towards me menacingly and I realized what their intentions were, but it was too late. I felt a sharp pain in the back of my head and then I was unconscious. Truly I know many people use this method to knock out their victims, but the concussion that it causes can be deadly. If they really wish to have a live victim they ought to choose a different method to subdue them.

Thankfully I did wake up and found myself looking at a face from the past. "Enchanter Melida Elgar," I said her name as she came into my view and as I checked my bonds. The tall brown haired human smiled and spoke, "Indeed Elsa and here you were sitting in Kirkwall. The woman who defeated the Qunari invasion, the woman who utterly defeated Meredith Stannard and you are playing at being a simple Tranquil Healer in a Chantry Healing center."

My bonds are tight so I will not escape by using my hands on them. So I slowly open myself to my power. Thrumming into me is anger immediate and red. I push it down gently, but hold onto it as I speak to Melida, "That is what I am Melida. I am a Tranquil healer."

"Qunari crap! I've seen your power Elsa and you are going to help us." The us in question were new mages in addition to Elgar, Rin, and Esmee. The new mages were not from our circle at least.

"We have had this discussion Melida. I refuse to assist you and kidnapping me will not change that. Now, I suggest that you release me and we forget this ever happened." I hold my rage at bay keeping calm, but I can tell the room is getting colder as one of the mages begins to shiver.

"You don't get it, we could hack your head off, make you into an ocularum just like the other tranquil. We could harm your friends or the people in the city." She spat the words out her own anger building as well.

I shake my head, "I am sorry I can't let you do that." Then I let the rage out oh I remember some of it an echo even now. She killed all the Tranquil in the circle she needed to die. My powers zipped out into the room slamming into Melida and her people freezing each of them solid in moments and then shattering them into tiny pieces.

It takes me time to reign the anger in long enough that an unseasonable blizzard briefly came through Kirkwall and the surrounding area. Still I managed to pull my power back in and process some emotions as well love for Bethany and even Merrill was in there as well as sadness and loss as I gently pushed everything back under my Tranquility.

My bonds had broken from the cold and so I stood and began attempting to find my way out. It wasn't too hard since the building around me was mostly destroyed. What remained of it was not even recognizable as a small farmstead a few miles away from Kirkwall.

I made my way back to the city and found the healing center. There Sister Fennic treated my rope burns and I took a bath. The next day I spent meditating on my emotions and my powers. Both had grown to dangerous levels and I would need to get a handle on them.

That is why I spent today out on the mountain tops practicing with my powers. I continued my understanding the underlying emotions and then shutting it all down. I realize it would be easier if I didn't shut it all down, but keeping a hold of my powers seems to end up cooling my surrounding by some degrees and making my hands very cold to the touch. Such coolness would be unhealthy for people who I did touch and so I put the power away and Tranquility descends along with that.

 **937 Dragon, Matrinalis 14** **th**

When Merrill came to see me this evening I told her about my encounter and said, "I think more will come."

She agreed with me then said, "What will you do?"

I ponder her question then speak my mind, "I think I need to leave the city and disguise myself. This," I pointed to my forehead and the symbol on it, "Makes me too conspicuous along with my light hair and blue eyes."

Merrill nodded, "I know some places we could go and be safe."

"We?" She took my hand in hers and said, "Yes, we could be safe. I won't let more of my friends depart without me."

"What about your people here in the city?" She shakes her head, "I try and help them understand, but they will be okay without me. The chantry sisters here will care for them if you ask yes?"

I cease my arguments as she is clearly set upon joining me and I do not know how to survive in the wilds. "Should we let Varric know where we've gone in case Bethany gets in contact with him?"

"Yes, I think we should Elsa. We'll let him know and then we should go. As much help as you can be here healing people, you'll be a better help if people aren't threatening those you care for."

It's a sensible statement and true. I cannot logically help people if those people are threatened by those who would use my powers for ill.

We will depart in the morning.

 **937 Dragon, Frumentum 7** **th**

Merrill and I have journeyed out of the Free Marches and into Orlais. We have been following game and collecting berries and the like.

Surviving in the wilds is much more difficult than it might seem. I have had little time to write in this journal and little to write about other than to simply say "today I survived"

Also, I should note that my accuracy on the dating of these entries may suffer as we continue to wander the wilds.

 **937 Dragon, Umbralis 20** **th**

We have travelled further to the south and beyond. Merrill tells me that we are currently in the wilds outside of Halamshiral. There are a number of small villages that we can visit with very, very few of them allowing elves into them although a few do have small alienages or demarcations where elves may not live. The rest of the human villages in the area, of course, do not allow elves inside or if they do just for trading have signs that tell elves that if they are in the village after sundown they will be killed.

This also means that when Merrill and I travel into one of the villages we are seen as different immediately. Thus we have decided to build a place of our own and live in that for the time being and Merrill will travel to the Alienage in Halamshiral for any supplies we may need since a human Tranquil will be much more remarked on than a Dalish elf.

 **937 Dragon, Cassus 1** **st**

Thankfully we have finally built a place to live in and have made progress on smoking meats and jarring wild berries and mushrooms. So with this bit of free time I sit and write.

More free time should be coming as the snows begin and we must stay inside for longer periods of time.

 **938 Dragon, Veriminsis 13** **th**

Even in the coldest of snow I am not cold. It seemed like this had to be true, but I have tested it numerous times now. This is in and of itself truly a fascinating thing since when I am using my powers to make cold then my skin is cold to the touch of others. Yet, in regular cold I remain warm to the touch as if the temperature has no effect on me.

As an experiment I placed my fingers close to the fire and got a burn for my efforts. So that proves whatever power I have in me prevents only cold from harming me.

The only other time my skin is warm is if I am sending the snow away. It seems that removing snow and ice makes me warm.

 **938 Dragon, Pluitanis 10** **th**

I note that my entries seem lacking for much information about the world. Here in the wilds of Halamshiral we have been snowed in and honestly avoiding other people and thus get little in the way of news. What is happening in the Mages Circles? I don't know and there is little way to gain information.

In the meantime Merrill continues to stay close to me and again someone has expressed an interest in me that I am unable to share. Freindship is the best I can give and even that is mostly absent of deep emotional bonds.

As I mentioned earlier I can feel the emotions by pulling on my power, but then I am cold to touch and my surroundings are cold. Either way it works I could not be close to people and honestly it is easier to not be close and avoid feeling the loss.

 **938 Dragon, Eluviesta 21** **st**

The Chantry has officially dissolved the College of Enchanters, or at least some villagers and residents of the Alienage in Halamshiral have been telling Merrill. I have asked her to gather as much information as she could and this is what we have heard.

Despite being disbanded the College apparently had a meeting in Cumberland. There they apparently voted against succession from the chantry. Although many people say that Grand Enchanter Fiona was herself against this vote it was apparently orchestrated by an older enchanter although some say it was orchestrated by a Templar sympathizer.

Despite this vote a few circles of Mages have fully declared rebellion and the Templars in them have been killed. No one knows for sure which circles have done this or if it is even an actual thing.

Many people are also saying that Empress Celine I of Orlais has asked the Divine Justinia V to intervene and solve this crisis before it turns into an all out war.

I do not know how the empress expects the Divine to fix this nor do I know a solution. For now Merrill and I will continue to live here and avoid these conflicts as much as we may.

 **938 Dragon, Eluviesta 25** **th**

Merrill spoke to me today after going to the Village of Roussillon. "The village is having an outbreak of a disease Elsa and I am not sure what I can do."

"You tried healing draughts?" She nods and says, "Little effect and steam for the lungs of those who have this cough."

"What sort of cough?" I ask even as my mind goes through numerous symptoms of many diseases that I know. "Just a cough, but it lasts many days."

"I'll need to see some of the patients. Did you tell those who have the disease to stay away from others who do not?" She nods then ads, "Will it be safe?"

"Safe or not, the needs of the many outweigh my own needs. Let's be off."

We made our way to the town and I examined one of the people with the disease. Immediately after they finished coughing and pulled their breath in with an oop sort of sound I knew the disease. "100 Day cough. The best thing is to again ensure that the infected are separated from those who are not and we will need to make a special medicine for steam to help them breathe."

"Not the usual medicine?" I shake my head and let the woman who had the cough know that Merrill and I would be back soon with some medicine.

We trek into the wilderness and find the herbs I require as I am saying, "100 day cough has no known cure. This medicine will help, but if any young children or older people get this cough they may die."

Merrill looks stricken, but we make our way back to Roussillon and provide medicine to the people who have the disease and then begin the process of explaining that the people who are sick must not be visited by those who are well especially people with young children and older adults.

As a note, both Merrill and I washed thoroughly before we went about the second task. It would be useless to spread the disease as we were warning about spreading the disease.

We have stayed the night in a small barn and I am finishing this by candlelight.

 **938 Dragon, Eluviesta 26** **th**

We departed Roussillon this morning, though not without much gossip about current events with the mages and apparently the Empire of Orlais as well.

Empress Celene I's reign in the Orlesian Empire has been met with criticism in some quarters, to the point where the Grand Duke Gaspard de Chalons was plotting to overthrow her.

It seems that During a royal ball, in which Bann Teagan Guerrin, Ferelden's ambassador, was present, Grand Duke Gaspard de Chalons bard Melcendre sang a song pertaining to Meghren's miserable stewardship of Orlais' former province, before flaunting a sword taken from Moira Theirin, the Rebel Queen, mockingly claiming that it was used by the servants to kill rats.

The Queen's champion, Ser Michel, challenged Teagan to a duel on Orlais' behalf and apparently they did so with feathers. Although some accounts say they used swords. No one died in the duel though although many people seem to believe that members of the nobility were offended most notably Duke Remache of Lydes.

 **938 Dragon, Molioris 1** **st**

The 100 day cough outbreak in Roussillon seems to have gone away and there were no deaths. Merrill and I have been keeping an eye on the situation and the villagers have very much warmed to our presence though neither of us brings a staff and I continue to keep my hair dark and the symbol of my Tranquility hidden.

 **938 Dragon, Molioris 7** **th**

News has come to us of problems at the White Spire in Orlais, though no one seems to know what they are about. In addition there are rumours abounding that Grand Duke Gaspard attempted to propose marriage to the empress while other rumours suggest that he attempted to assassinate her.

The people of Halamshiral and surrounding villages suggest that tensions are high and it is easy to believe them.

 **938 Dragon, Ferventis 9** **th**

Bethany Hawke was able to catch up to Merrill outside of Halamshiral and she came back with the Dalish elf to where we are living. The quarters have gone from tent to wooden structure over the months along with a root cellar, herb garden and smoke room. We sleep in the central room near our chimney.

Bethany complimented the place then hugged me close. "Goodness I was worried, have been worried. I had to come find you when I heard the news."

Merrill stared at her and fingered a dagger. "Now just what makes such news worthy of hugging her then?"

Bethany stepped back and looked at her saying, "Oh do you have a relationship with her?"

Her voice hitched and I broke in saying, "We are friends just like you and I are Bethany. We have been living here for many months to avoid any blood mages who might attempt to try something foolish."

"Well then it was even more important that I," Merrill broke in saying, "Have people follow you and find Elsa? Because you could easily have done that you know?"

The two began an argument about whether or not Bethany could have been followed and then started in about friendship and what that meant. I stepped out in the middle and went to meditate as I had no clue what I might do to stop this argument especially since it clearly seemed that what they were really arguing about was me.

The two found me some time later and Merrill spoke first saying, "I'm sorry Elsa," With Bethany adding a, "Me too."

I stood and faced them gathering my thoughts before saying, "I know you both have feelings for me. At this time I cannot share those feelings with either of you. In addition if a time comes when I can share these feelings it seems illogical for us to argue about them. Can we not simply agree to share?"

The two approached and hugged me together. After a few moments I spoke saying, "The hug is becoming somewhat uncomfortable now. Can we return to the domicile?"

The two agreed and we returned. Honestly I could not understand what they possibly could see in me. My emotions are stunted and I am not all that wonderful to look upon. Would they not be happier with someone else? Someone who did not have such terrible power inside them?

 **938 Dragon, Ferventis 10** **th**

The personal events of yesterday and additional social bonding ended up preventing Bethany from informing us of her original purpose in seeking me out. Today changed that and here is what we know:

One of the White Spire's senior enchanters, attempted to assassinate Divine Justinia. In response, Lord Seeker Lambert took control of the White Spire Circle and its templar contingent in order to attempt to bring matters under control.

With Lambert in Control of the White Spire and cracking down many mages have fled and more Circles have entered into open revolt killing their Templar contingents. The Circles known to be in revolt are Hossberg in the Anderfels, Ansburg in the Free Marches, and Montsimmard here in Orlais.

Merrill, Bethany, and I discuss these events, but what is there for us to do. The Mages and the Templars are fighting do I go help the mages knowing what I do about their treatment in Kirkwall? Is it even appropriate to help the mages though knowing that to do so I will end up killing Templars?

We end up deciding to wait more and see to be together for now and keep apprised of the situation. If something can be done perhaps we will think of it, but until then it is safest for these two mages and I to stay out of it.

I went out and practiced some more with my powers along with Bethany and Merrill the three of us in a secluded place. The biggest problem for me was my rage, but I have tamed it. The other issue is my feelings for these two women who stayed with me and kept me company. The power of that feeling and the way my eyes wanted to latch onto them was difficult to control as well, but I tamed it too before I finally finished for the night.

One thing I know for sure, if I was no Tranquil I would be out fighting for the mages and killing the Templar jailers. There is no doubt in my mind and in a way that is frightening. Emotions can so easily over power sensible actions. Emotions can cause us to kill when the most logical and sensible thing to do is to consider everyone's needs.

 **938 Dragon, Ferventis 28** **th**

Tensions in the city of Halamshiral are very high and surrounding villages have hung elves even before curfews happened. The city elves have been asking for fair treatment and equality under the laws.

Again I wonder what I could do to help, but my power is like a hammer. I could set things to rights and by doing so shatter the world. A Tranquil mage with my powers and my abilities is supposed to be impossible. In fact even the most powerful of known mages has never been heard to be capable of what I can do. Merrill and Bethany both know frost magics, but what they can do pales in comparison to mine.

Again there is little we can do, but prepare healing supplies and wait. A time may come when everything is clearly so bad that my power is needed. Until then I will wait and gather information.

 **939 Dragon, Verimensis 2** **nd**

Lemet, a well-liked elven trader, was brutally killed after taking the blame for a child who threw a rock at Lord Mainserai's coach. Many nobles have fled the city and Comte Pierre doubled the guards around the city in an attempt to end elven riots there.

So far it does not seem to be having much of an effect.

 **939 Dragon, Verimensis 3** **rd**

Empress Celine's troops seem to have temporarily quelled the rioting within the city and Lord Mainserai has died under mysterious conditions.

Unfortunately the elven alienage has mostly been burned down and help is greatly required from healers.

Thus I am penning this brief entry from a hastily set up healing center in Halamshiral itself.

 **939 Dragon, Verimensis 6** **th**

Tensions are still high in Halamshiral with winter upon us many elves are cold and unhappy. Bethany, Merrill, and I continue to work in a healing center that we have set up, but what we are doing is not enough.

I have decided to attempt to use my powers to send what light snow there is away. That should help prevent people from being as cold I hope.

 **939 Dragon, Verimensis 7** **th**

It seems to be working if I concentrate on my happier feelings I can send the snows away and somewhat warm the city around us. This should help prevent people from dying in the cold.

With this use of my powers my hands are warm and my body is most likely capable of being touched. I feel happy truly feel it and I feel such excitement in my stomach like little moths are inside whenever I am close to Merrill or Bethany. I want to touch them to be close with them I find myself pressing a hand to them or bumping them as I work and I am humming a song.

Using my power like this is exhausting though and it is much harder to push the tranquility away. So, when it comes, it is almost as if the world itself suddenly loses its color. Is this how I have been living all this time?

 **939 Dragon, Verimensis 18** **th**

Halamshiral has finally seemed to settle down. Bethany Merrill and I have basically moved into our healing center in the city and continue to work there. No one has asked me about being a Tranquil so clearly my disguise is working.

 **939 Dragon, Nubulis 10** **th**

No one is quite sure which Circles of mages are currently in rebellion and which are not. In addition tensions in Halamshiral have grown again and it is very possible that riots could happen yet again.

Here at the healing center Bethany is known as Miss Beth, Merrill is known as Merrill, and I am known as Eva. I realized I hadn't mentioned this, but it does keep up our disguises. Merrill and Bethany do not carry staves, but a pair is hidden in our healing center and in the rooms above where we live.

 **939 Dragon, Eluviesta 14** **th**

Scarlet fever has broken out in Halamsiral. Here at the healing center our beds are full and we have taken over a nearby Chantry as well.

Must go

 **939 Dragon, Ferventis 7** **th**

I cannot even rightly say just how many people died over the last two months. Thankfully it seems as if we have the sickness under control. Messages all around the city remind people to boil their water to wash in and drink with. Cleanliness is a new watchword throughout the town thanks to our actions.

I have had little time to worry about rumors of the Mages Circles or the rest of Orlais.

 **939 Dragon, Matrinalis 18** **th**

I found Bethany and Merrill in bed together this morning as I was getting up to begin my day. The two of them blushed bright red and Merrill began, "Ahm well we were…"

She petered off and I said, "Showing your affection for each other. Yes, that is a good thing it will strengthen your social bonds and deepen your relationship."

Bethany stood from the bed naked and approached me a hand touching my face, "I would think you should be jealous. I know I feel guilty, but you don't feel jealous at all do you?"

I shake my head slowly, "Perhaps when I practice later I will."

She hugs me closely her soft breasts pressing into mine and kisses me. I pull on the aspect of my power that melts snow and suddenly my mouth is on hers and it feels amazing, but I loose concentration and it is gone. As it departs I feel a sudden hit of agonizing loss and then that too is gone.

I wipe my eye of the single tear in it and say, "I felt it and then my concentration was gone. Now it is just a memory without color."

Merrill is up as I speak and she hugs me as well tears in her eyes, "It's unfair this Tranquility. I hate now that I let Hawke do it to Feynriel."

I shake my head, "Most of them will never know what these emotions feel like. It is only my power that makes it different for me."

With that I move to the stove and begin making breakfast. My two friends behind me talking softly about me and us even though there can be no us. Without feelings I can barely be a friend let alone any sort of lover. Hopefully the two of them will realize this and be happy together as we are.

 **939 Dragon, Parvulis 13** **th**

Bethany and Merrill seem quite happy together although they both seem to take time to touch me or be close with me. I suppose it is a way to ensure our social bonds are steady and that I am included as best they can arrange.

We continue to run our healing center here in Halamshiral and receive offerings of food and the like from those who can't even afford our low rates. From time to time we'll get someone in who has been injured in fighting between Empress Celine and Duke Gaspard or Mages and Templars.

On both fronts the news right now seems to be very tense as if it is kindling just waiting for the flame.

 **940 Dragon, Pluitanis 4** **th**

They are calling it The Battle of the White Spire. The Templars and the mages there fought a great battle several of the First Enchanters were slain and the rest imprisoned, however it seems that the Knight-Captain Evangeline returned later and freed them. People are saying the Knight Captain was aided by a rock demon and one of the few Enchanters who had escaped with her.

Once the mages were freed they escaped the White Spire and have gone elsewhere. Reports from other circles are currently unknown, but I believe that a full rebellion has started in earnest.

In the very middle of what is clearly becoming a war between Mages and Templars the country of Orlais seems to also be ate the very brink of a war among factions supporting the Empress Celine and those supporting Grand Duke Gaspard.

 **940 Dragon, Pluitanis 7** **th**

Around Halamshiral someone has tacked up copies of the following missive:

 _Most Holy,_

 _The Seekers are well aware of the part you played in the rebellion. You call me to the Grand Cathedral in the middle of the night on "urgent" business only to speak of trivial matters? And then, when I return to the White Spire, I discover chaos … and one of your agents in the midst of the apostates._

 _Did you think I would not notice? Did you believe yourself above repercussions for such acts? It was a dark day when the Chantry placed such an incapable woman upon the Sunburst Throne. I will not stand idle and watch you destroy what ages of tradition and righteousness have built._

 _In the twentieth year of the Divine Age, the Nevarran Accord was signed. The Seekers of Truth lowered our banner and agreed to serve as the Chantry's right hand, and together we created the Circle of magi. With the Circle no more, I hereby declare the Accord null and void. Neither the Seekers of Truth nor the Templar Order recognize Chantry authority, and instead we will perform the Maker's work as it was meant to be done, as we see fit._

 _Signed this day on the fortieth year of the Dragon Age,_

 _Lord Seeker Lambert van Reeves_

 **940 Dragon, Pluitanis 12** **th**

Halamshiral has partially rebuilt since the elven riots and subsequent burning of the Alienage. There have been no suggestions of conscription here though many people are saying that the nobility does not want another riot.

 **940 Dragon, Nubulis 8** **th**

The elves are back to rioting again and it is not hard to understand why. They need shelter and food and care now, but are not receiving it except in very limited quantities.

 **940 Dragon, Nubulis 11** **th**

The riots seem to be on and then off from day to day, but today was different indeed. Empress Celine herself came into the city with a force of soldiers. She was met by Grand Duke Gaspard de Chalons, who attempted to kill Celene.

The Empress came into our healing center with her champion Michale and very few forces, "Please we need help escaping the city."

Merrill looks are her then me and says, "You're no friend to these elves why should we help?"

"You're not all elves surely." Bethany stands next to Merrill as the Empress speaks though and says, "Yes, but we are friends to the elves. Your troops burned down the city and now when you are routed by the Grand Duke and these elves you seek to flee?"

"Please, I promise to make it right if you will just help me." She pleads and I look at her then my companions, "She seems honest and if we do not help her then her blood will be on our hands."

That is how we decided to assist her and as far as I know she is the road towards Jader with, her champion Michael, and the remnants of her forces.

 **940 Dragon, Nubulis 18** **th**

Word has arrived that the Marquis de Chevin, rallied several of the northern Orlesian nobles and their forces at Val Royeaux to support Empress Celine including Ghyslain, Morrac, and the Countess d'Argent.

No one seems to know where the Empress Herself is and honestly she should have arrived at Jader by now. It is possible that she was accosted on the road between Halamshiral and there, but I would think that the Grand Duke would let it be known if he had captured or killed her.

 **940 Dragon, Nubulis 26** **th**

News has arrived that the surviving first enchanters, the Grand Enchanter among them, have retreated to the fortress of Andoral's Reach. Most of the fifteen Circles have risen against the Templars and people are saying that thousands of mages are making their way to Andoral's Reach. If that is truly the case then from what I know of the fortress, they could fend off an army ten times their size. In addition it is said that there has been a vote to officially separate from the Chantry.

First Enchanter Vivienne de Fer of the Montsimmard Circle and mages loyal to her cause have identified themselves as "Loyalist" mages and have gone to Montsimmard, wishing to reinstate the Circles and end the war while other mages are said to have gone into hiding trying to avoid the war between Mages and Templars.

In other news it seems that Lady Seryl of Jader had her troops destroyed a village where troops loyal to Gaspard had billeted themselves killing the troops and most likely making all of the residents in the village suddenly homeless. Although many people have said that Lady Seryl simply conscripted the populace that could fight and is allowing the rest to billet with them.

Rumours of Celine's whereabouts continue to circulate with people saying she is being held captive, that she is dead, or that she is staying at Jader with her army. No one is quite sure since Gaspard's forces have cut off the western highway.

In the meantime Merrill, Bethany and I have discussed whether or not we should go to assist the mages. Bethany feels strongly that we should, but Merrill and I do not share those feelings.

 **940 Dragon, Eluviesta 8** **th**

Coincidence is a remarkable set of events without a seeming causative correlation. That is what has happened this day.

Merrill has received word from Sarel himself asking for her assistance at Clan Virnehn, specifically asking that she come herself. He has mentioned worry about a demon.

At the same time Bethany has received word from her sister Penelope Hawke about needing some assistance with an artifact that she and her lover have found.

There was an argument between them about whom I should accompany until I decided that it would be most equitable if I stayed here in Halamshiral.

 **940 Dragon, Eluviesta 10** **th**

This morning Bethany and Merrill departed both were very tired and the room needed to be aired out. Each gave me a brief kiss and then shared another between them before they left.

I decided to take the day off and connected with my power to practice the biggest feeling was loss and regret, yet at the same time I felt my decision the other day was for the best. I would not wish Bethany or Merrill to feel I favored one over the other as that is not the case.

Rumours in town suggest that there was a major battle in the Heartlands, but disagree on whether it was between Mages and Templars or Empress Celine and Duke Gaspard's forces. In addition other wild rumours suggest that Val Royeaux has been set aflame.

 **940 Dragon, Molioris 8** **th**

Empress Celene has shown up at The Winter Palace in Halamshiral. I know not exactly how this has occured, but she has persuaded Comte Pierre, who as you may recall is ruler of Halamshiral, into reaffirming his loyalty to her.

 **940 Dragon, Molioris 12** **th**

Grand Duke Gaspard has been reported to have magically appeared outside his own stronghold in Val Chevin. I myself have never heard of such magic, so either it was magic or he simply went in secret and then pretended to appear by magic.

 **940 Dragon, Molioris 24** **th**

I have received a letter from Bethany today:

 _My Dearest Healer in Halamshiral,_

 _My sister, Isabella, Varric and King Alistair of Ferelden itself were traveling in Antiva City looking for clues as to King Maric's ultimate fate._

 _If you are wondering why I was needed some of these clues can only be detected when viewed across the veil._

 _Unfortunately Qunari Forces under the Arishok have assaulted the Tevinter Fortress of Ath Velanis. We are currently working on some way to stop these forces._

 _I will try and be safe._

 _With deepest Love and friendship,_

 _Bethany_

It was nice that she did not use my actual name and it is true that I am known by many people as the Healer in Halamshiral. I wonder exactly what she has gotten involved with, but I believe she will try to stay safe as best she can. Of course with this letter in hand I do wonder if Merrill is faring well.

 **940 Dragon, Ferventis 7** **th**

There is something going on in Halamshiral with all of the elves. The few I have asked have told me that I should not worry as my services are greatly appreciated. If I was able to worry much such assurances would most likely do the opposite.

Word has also arrived that in The Dales, Empress Celine's forces continue to clash against Grand Duke Gaspard's forces whom many have tagged as rebels. Celene has also declared that wearing violets is a symbolic sign of supporting her rule. On that matter I have decided not to wear violets.

 **940 Dragon, Ferventis 14** **th**

News has come in from the Exalted Plains where deserters from both Empress Celine and Duke Gaspard have apparently formed a group calling themselves the Freemen of the Dales. They have supposedly vowed to bow to no authority but their own and somehow think they can take the Dales for themselves.

 **940 Dragon, Solis 20** **th**

News has arrived that Lord Seeker Lambert who had been leading the Templars was killed. I am not sure exactly when this actually occurred, but the news has just arrived here in Halamshiral. Lucius Corin has become the new Lord Seeker and although an army of Templars was apparently preparing to march on Andoral's reach he has decided against that action for now.

Here in the city I am relatively sure that the Elves are organizing for something new. This time instead of riots it may be a full out rebellion.

I have not received any new word from Bethany or Merrill and it seems like Thedas itself is slowly falling apart. The logical and right choice escapes me there is nothing at all like a solution in all of this tangled mess.

 **940 Dragon, Parvulis 3** **rd**

I have heard news that an attack did occur at Andorals reach and that the Templars lost, but news also says the mages lost. News of battles between Templar and Mages is everywhere they are said to be burning this city and that city, but there is nothing to confirm or deny any of these reports.

I will have to leave the reports of such activity alone until they become more consistent.

 **940 Dragon, Umbralis 7** **th**

An Elf with Curly Cinnamon Brown hair met with me today in my healing center. "Good Day Elsa."

I turned fingering my berry stained hair and checking to see if my makeup was covering my mark of Tranquility. "Have no fear your hair and makeup are done well and your friend Merrill is also well."

Immediately I pull my power to me readying it. Along with it comes fear for Merrill's safety. "What have you done with her?"

She shakes her head, "Saved her life mostly though it will be some time before she recovers entirely from the demon attack."

I frown as anger pulses through me, but I keep it in check. "How do you know my name?"

She smiles delicately, "She spoke in a fever dream. You are Elsa a Tranquil from Kirkwall known here in Halamshiral as Eva the healer friend of elves. I bear you no ill will."

The room drops in temperature as I stare at the woman. "I have heard such things before and they have been lies."

"No lie today, my dear I need a spy though and you will be that spy. In return you will be brought to Merrill and see that she is well."

I do not like the way she has phrased this, but I can always agree to her terms and then free Merrill and escape later if need be. "Very well miss…"

I pause and she speaks, "Briala, former handmaid to Empress Celine and current leader of the Elven rebellion in Orlais."

I hold out my hand. "Social cues suggest that now is the time for me to say it is nice to meet you."

She laughs and takes my hand. "Likewise Elsa, now let us go and meet Merrill shall we?"

I close up the healing center and go with Briala. She takes me through winding pathways and tunnels I have never seen before until finally we wind up at a large mirror much like one that is Merril's.

I stare at it wondering if they are the same when Briala uses some device to activate the mirror. She takes my hand and I follow her through into another space. It is slightly green inside this place the lighting that is making the stone look green as well. It is fascinating on many levels and I would like to have time to study it, but Briala takes me to yet another mirror and we are in another place. This time the lighting seems normal and the wood floors as well.

Briala takes me through what I assume is some large house and into a room where Merrill is sitting up in bed. One of her shoulders is in a splint and there are bandages around her chest and legs. She sees me walk in and almost gets up before a sharp pain in her leg makes her sit again.

Gods I love her and I miss her. My heart slams in my chest and I move to her quickly, but before I touch her I remember that I am holding onto the cold portion of my power and I shut it down suddenly the feelings are gone, but I still finish moving to Merril and hug her close knowing that it is what she would want and if my emotions were available what I would want.

I sit next to her holding her gently. "Are you okay Merrill I was concerned about your wellbeing."

She nods and pecks my cheek with a quick kiss. "I am fine although it was close there. A demon was released and the entire Virnehn clan was nearly slaughtered. I was not a match for it, but I was able to help some of the clan flee along with what was left of Clan Sabrae…"

She petered off and began sobbing into my shoulder. I gently stroked her back and spoke softly saying, "I have no words I know of to help your pain in this moment Merrill, but I will support you as you need."

She calmed herself and noticed Briala and sighed, "Briala is helping the elves of Orlais and in exchange for helping my clan escape and healing me I have agreed to help her in that task. They need someone who has my powers and abilities and we could use another healer."

She looks at me clearly trying to communicate something and I just nod. That is when Briala finally speaks, "We could use Elsa in a better capacity spying on the Mages."

"A Tranquil would not be suspected if they actually have any Tranquil with them a good plan that hinges on that last fact."

"We are sure they do although many less than we might have assumed." The elf says and in my mind I see mages killing them, beheading them to use for inconceivable rites. My power flares inside along with rage and I have to push it down before my skin is too cold to be so close to Merrill.

"I'll do it."

Briala departs and I spend this last evening with Merrill. I give her this journal for safe keeping. Hopefully both journals will return to our healing center in Halamshiral.

* * *

Author's Notes: As with my previous work the timeline for DA has been mucked about and slightly modified to fit the story. This tale was written over the course of a few weeks and may suffer from that, but I enjoyed writing it and intend to continue it into Dragon Age Inquisition. In fact I was writing the Inquisition tale first when I felt a need to do background. This tale is what happened...

Did you find an error? Please let me know about it.

Thanks,

Ysolde


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